THANK YOU, Jack.

You may have seen this one. It's been making the rounds. Cafferty manages to say what the rest of us are thinking.



I mean, you've gotta be kidding, right...?



Is is just me, or is the similarity between Palin and this genius more than a little unsettling....?



Spooky, right...?

An Open Letter To My Anonymous Racist Fan

Dear Pussy-Ass Anonymous Racist Fuckhole,

Your comments have been deleted.

.

...See?

.

You've been erased.

.

It's like you never existed.

.

You made no impact whatsoever.

.

You silly, inconsequential bitch.

All the best,

-IMBA

P.S. Obama's going to win.

Tee-hee.

Hey, a PLAN?? What a novel idea...

Had Enough/Can't Get Enough #6

So... this was originally supposed to be a weekly segment, but in true CYPJN?! fashion, my intentions and my output rarely jell. (The last installment of this "weekly" feature was in April, 2007.)

Here's a list of what's got me both flummoxed and fired up this week...

HAD ENOUGH

• Gatsby's incessant yowling at 9:30 every night for no good goddamn reason


• Braveheart's incessant yowling at 3:30 every morning for no good goddamn reason


• Sarah Palin buzz


• Joint pain


• PC issues


• Being someone I'm not 40 hours a week


• Lunch options at the World Financial Center


• 80's nostalgia permeating Fashion Week


• Transitional hair


• The bullshit wine stores on Ditmars


• The Mets getting ready to squander yet another near-guaranteed playoff slot

CAN'T GET ENOUGH

• My new Blackberry


• This Jeffrey McDaniel poem


• The Missus' beauty blurbs on Shecky's


• The following albums: Max Richter "The Blue Notebooks", Elbow "The Seldom Seen Kid", Friendly Fires (eponymous), Lou Reed "Coney Island Baby", Nomo "Ghost Rock", Conor Oberst (eponymous), The Church "After Everything Now This", Johann Johannsson "Englabjorn"


• The new Kings of Leon single


• Mad Men - Could this show be any more fantastic? That was rhetorical. The answer is no... No, it could not.


• Californication - We JUST started watching this. Officially got caught up on the first season and are eagerly awaiting the Season Two premiere on the 28th.


• The Diving Bell & The Butterfly - Ugh... God. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. We're still talking about it. Really beautiful.


• ALWAYS getting a seat on the N in the morning because Ditmars is the end of the line


• The skewered, fried mussels at Aegean Cove


• Our king size Tempurpedic mattress


• Most of John Varvatos' Fall '08 collection


• Planning our mid-January getaway

Looks like I'm heavier on raves than rants this week. I guess I'm growing...

-IMBA

I'll take "Totally Fucking Obvious Causes Of Death" for $400, Alex....

Man, Woman Found Fatally Shot In Head In NYC (AP) ―
A man and a woman have been found shot dead inside a Manhattan apartment.Police say they went to the apartment Sunday afternoon and found 72-year-old Arlene Coffey and 54-year-old David Coffey shot in their heads. Both were pronounced dead at the scene, where a .22-caliber revolver was recovered. The medical examiner's office will try to determine the causes of their deaths.

"Hmmmmm.... Let's see.... I don't know, Sarge... Other than the .22 and the bullet holes in each of the victims' skulls, I can't imagine any other reason why they both would have died at the same time and with blood-gushing gapes in their melons. We better send 'em over to the M.E.'s office for tests..."

You've got.

To be fucking.

Kidding me.

Up Here, Down There

Has it really been 7 years? Crazy.

Thank God I wasn't working down here back then.

From my office window...From MSNBC...
I don't think I could ever have imagined myself feeling this emotionally removed from the whole thing. Especially given my close physical proximity to the site.

I usually feel a twinge of something on the anniversaries. Sadness, anger, something eerie, something sensorial, something particular. Something.

But today just feels like a Thursday.

Actually, it feels like an even less noteworthy Thursday than most other Thursdays.

I don't know why.

(sigh)... I'm Back

Details later.

For now, read this.

In Case You Missed It...

Or if you just want to get the goosebumps all over again...

Reason I Want To Punch People I See On The Street Sometimes #247

Today a sloppy, pudgy 10 year old kid walked by me with his dad. The kid was wearing a t-shirt that said "10 Reasons Why A Beer Is Better Than A Woman".

Genius.

Absolute genius.

Get 'em started early. On the booze and the misogyny.

I noticed the dad noticing me noticing his kid and the obviously inappropriate t-shirt choice. I'm sure the look on my face was a sour melange of disgust, disdain and unfiltered whatthefuckness.

When I looked up, he averted his eyes and they walked on past.

Yeah.

Look away, asshole.

Hope the kid gets taken away from you before he has a chance to blossom into a grade-A eff-hole just like his daddy.


P.S. I couldn't read the reasons listed on the t-shirt, so I did a search on the phrase. If you think I'm being harsh or puritanical, take a look for yourself and tell me you'd put this shirt on your 10 year old.

N I C E !

The perfect ticket?

It just might be...

New David Byrne/Brian Eno Joint

The new collaboration between David Byrne and Brian Eno - "Everything That Happens Will Happen Today" - is out now and available exclusively through their website.

You can preview the album below. Fantastic stuff...

What I've Been Doing With My Summer Since I Obviously Haven't Been Blogging

It's not that I don't love you. My head's just elsewhere right now. Best I can muster is a bullet list. The last month or so in a nutshell...

• Finished putting the apartment together - (whew)
  
• Joined Facebook. -Not sure how I feel about this one yet. People are sort of coming out of the woodwork. It's cool, but also... you know... I dunno...
  
• Saw "The Dark Knight" - Amazing. Can't wait to see it again, in IMAX this time. THANK YOU Christopher Nolan for finally getting this franchise CORRECT. And, Heath... Oh, Heath. Damn your silly pills. You should get a nod for this regardless of your existential status.
  
• Saw Underworld, Andrew Bird & Radiohead at the All Points West Festival - All three acts were fantastic, but I have to say what impressed me most about these outdoor stages was the SOUND. Crystal clear. Really satisfying. And we'd never seen Radiohead live, so The Missus and I were TRULY floored.
  
• Christened our new apartment with a real-deal summer BBQ - I'm still eating leftover sausages and potato salad, but a good time was had by all and my grill skills continue to grow.
  
• Finally bought my plane ticket for the Canyon - My good friend Troy, a Canyon virgin, will be joining us for this one. We're doing our first-ever rim-to-rim.* It's going to rock like nothing has ever rocked in the history of rocking.
  
• Accepted a permanent position with the American Express Company only to find out a month later that I may be losing my job - I've never considered that I was someone who worked in "the financial sector" of the economy, but apparently I am. They like to call major layoffs like this "a reengineering". Brilliant. Utterly brilliant.
  
• Switched out our old cable box for a new HD box - Two words: Sunrise Earth
  
• Had some great dinners with The Missus in our new 'hood - Thank you for the paella, El Olivo


• Discovered one of the most delicious $6 bottles of white ever - We're total fans of the Indaba Sauvignon Blanc from South Africa. $8.99 on Ditmars, but only $5.99 in our old neighborhood. We drove over and bought a case. Good shit.
  
• Boycotted the Olympics - Didn't even watch the opening ceremonies. In HD. With SurroundSound. Which was probably awesome. But, fuck 'em.
• Got to Level 25 on the Vortex game on my iPod - I'm not usually a game person, but this one's been a blessing on my hour-long train ride to work.


• Started growing my hair out - And am hating it. Might be chop-chop time.


• Mowed a lawn for the first time in about 12 years - Having a yard we can use has been a real upgrade from our last place. Having fun planning what we're going to do with the space next spring.


• Made an appointment for my first physical in over two years - Taking advantage of the insurance while I have it. Doc's gonna love that I started smoking again. (...ugh)


• Started smoking again - Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. Planning to quit after the Canyon. Have heard some firsthand accounts of success with auriculotherapy, so I've started doing research.


• Ate sashimi for the first time - We have five sushi places on Ditmars. Only one we'd tried was Watawa, which we love love love. It's still the best, but I decided to check out Sakura one lonely night while The Missus was away and I gotta say... the yellowtail sashimi was a winner.

That's really about it. I've been having a quiet summer.

Not relaxing. Not restorative. Not particularly fun. But quiet.

And I guess that's just going to have to be okay for right now...

-IMBA

*Please note that the phrase "rim-to-rim" refers to the North and South Rims of the Grand Canyon. Not whatever you were thinking. ...sicko.

Vomit

Read this.

And then read this.

And try not to throw up in your mouth.



I just don't understand this world sometimes...

Gogol on Conan

Gogol Bordello will be appearing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien this Wednesday night (7/30). This is your chance to find out what you've been missing.

Set your DVR's and strap yourself in.

Are You Effing Serious??

I just came across this link on Yahoo. I simply can't believe that there's just so little going on in the world that stories like this end up getting printed...

Poll: Obama Leads McCain Among People Who Don't Have Pets

Enjoy The Silence

It's summer.

We're all busy with other stuff.

I'll be posting regularly again soon.

Just not today.

Or probably tomorrow.

So, take a break from your computer and go outside.

It's such a nice day...

George Carlin 1937-2008

George Carlin has long been a personal hero of mine. We don't have anyone like him around today. As much a champion of free speech as Lenny Bruce, his loss will be deeply felt.

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits, to you Sir.

Here's hoping God's got a sense of humor...

Gogol #4

The Missus and I went to our fourth Gogol Bordello show in a year on Friday night at McCarren Park Pool.

Man... I just... I can't... you've just gotta... What's it gonna take to get your ass there next time?

Seriously...

Support TerraNOVA

Some friends of mine run the TerraNOVA Collective. They always put out great work and they've just launched their 5th annual SoloNOVA Festival. There's a party tomorrow night at P.S. 122 to support the festival and the collective. If you're around and free, go check it out...

-IMBA





terraNOVA NewsletterJune 17, 2008
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5th Anniversary Celebration - $15 Tix Available HERE!
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Greetings!The 5th Annual soloNOVA Arts Festival opens tonight! For a complete line-up, please go to http://www.terranovacollective.org/.
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Buy Tix Now!!!
This link will take you to our calendar.

New Digs

As promised. Unsolicited photos. (Ma, you can stop hounding me.)

We're officially moved in and the unpacking/setting-up process has begun.

Here's to a fresh start...