The CYPJN?! Top 9 Albums of 2009

SO... 2009 draws to a close and leaves in its wake a raft of fantastic new albums, including a slew of impressive debuts. As always, narrowing down this year's top picks was a painstaking task. But I can say that the nine presented here are the ones that landed most solidly for me.

My own 2009 was an upsy-downsy affair on many levels. Frankly, I'll be more than happy to get it the FUCK off my back, however I recognize that the process of this year was an absolutely essential part of the setup to make 2010 a year of serious discovery and forward movement.

Musically, I spent a lot of time looking backward. My summer in Los Angeles was an incredibly evocative experience and the hours I spent swimming the racks of Amoeba Records' UNPARALLELED used section found me filling in much-needed blanks in my collection. Many hours on the 101 spent listening to long-overdue digital replacements of classics from my cassette library. Screaming Blue Messiahs, English Beat, XTC, Oingo Boingo, Liz Phair, etc. Also, I had compiled a number of L.A.-centric mixes for the occasion, which were on a fairly heavy rotation. Subsequently, it took me up until the last quarter to get around to some of the more important releases of this year.

For anyone who knows me beyond a passing acquaintance, there will be one tres surprising omission from the below list. The long-standing assumption when I began doing these year-end record evals was that whenever my all-time favorite band released it's next album, that album would almost certainly land in CYPJN!?'s top spot for that year. Stands to reason, no? Hence my utter astonishment at my inability to fully connect with U2's No Line On The Horizon. The album came out just days before my first L.A. trip last April, and my time on the sunny coast gave me ample opportunity to truly give it a go. The problem was, only about half of the album penetrated on any real level. The rest simply dribbled down my earlobes and blew away on the Pacific Coast breeze. A full review was promised, yet never materialized because I simply. Couldn't. Get there with it. The reasons for this are many. Too many cooks in the producorial kitchen. Slogan-y, frictionless lyrics. Consciously radio-friendly melodies. I could mintuaeize for hours, but you get the point. That said, there are moments on the album that really soar and songs like "No Line On The Horizon", "Magnificent" and "FEZ-Being Born" stand alongside some of the band's best moments of the 00's. Particularly affecting is "Cedars of Lebanon", the most perfect top-to-bottom studio track the band has produced since "Please". The bottom line on No Line is this: I enjoy the album on a lot of levels. But, in the end it left me looking to the horizon for something a little more adventurous.

Another distinction of this list is that it is perhaps the ONLY Best of '09 rundown that does not include Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavillion. And I am damn proud of that distinction. I will say however that the album's ubiquitous praise and seeming sonic profundity have assured me that if for some reason I ever decide that I want to make it as an indie superphenom, all's I need to do is gather some hand-clappin' stoner buddies for an hour-long Garage Band circle jerk and voila!, Pitchfork hands me the crown.

Having said that, there are some other widely-heralded albums whose hype was well deserved. You'll find some of them below. Others flew inexplicably under the critical radar, so I'm delighted to have a chance to shine a light on them here.

Without further ado, I give you IMBA's TOP 9 ALBUMS OF 2009. Enjoy...

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9. Dan Auerbach, Keep It Hid

"What's wrong, dear brother? Have you lost faith?", Dan Auerbach asks us at the beginning of his much-anticipated solo album Keep It Hid. The answer, Dan, is no. My faith in your ability to make a kickass record, regardless of the lineup, remains intact.

Given the unwavering consistency of The Black Keys' output over the years, it seemed a no-brainer that an Auerbach solo spit would follow suit. I expected to like it. A lot. And with the first listen, all of my expectations were surpassed.
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Using colors not usually found on a Black Keys palette, Keep It Hid paints expressionistic pictures of love, loss, betrayal and desire against a backdrop of fuzzed-out dirty blues, Southern-fried rock grooves, garage riffs, weathered soul and chilly acoustic ballads. The band expanded on their original drums-and-guitar template for last year's Attack & Release, and that spirit of expansion appears to have followed Auerbach into the studio for this one.

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Personal favorites include "Real Desire", "When the Night Comes", "Keep It Hid" and "Street Walkin'". And if my funeral playlist weren't already obnoxiously long, the Beatle-flavored "Goin' Home" would probably find it's way into the mix. But, make no mistake. Every track on this album is fantastic. Exercise a little faith and go pick it up.

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Serving Suggestion: Feels like a hot summer night in the dirty south. Plop yourself under a weeping willow with a six pack of Schlitz and dig in.

8. Jack Peñate - Everything is New

There's a phenomenon that occurs if you listen to KEXP frequently. You'll hear a new song and say to yourself, "Who IS THIS!?" Then, when you take a gander at the real-time online playlist, you see that it's an artist you've heard several times before and had the exact same reaction each time. So, after my third "Who IS THIS!?" moment with Jack Peñate, I decided it was time to just go ahead and buy the album.

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On the surface, Everything Is New is simply sexy British pop with moves to spare. But what elevates it beyond mere ear candy is a very peculiar brand of haunted soulfulness that occupies a space in my musical world which had previously gone uninhabited. While there is a sheen to the goings-on here and a celebration (of some sort) happening in the background, there is also an inherent longing that permeates. And that longing makes Everything is New utterly unshakable. Something darkly enticing beckons just under the dancey bass grooves and icily reverbed guitar chimes, and while we're never sure exactly what it is, we're desperate to find out.

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"Be the One" and "Tonight's Today" are prime examples of this je ne se quoi. Both are completely unlikely modern disco tracks - unquestionably danceable without being disposable. The slinky, maraca-frosted beats and ghostly vocal overdubs on "Every Glance" amplify the emotional heft of lines like "Take your hands off my shoulders and let me stand/I've been trying my hardest to be a man", while "Let's All Die" is one of the more joyous celebrations of mortality you're likely to hear for some time. What makes it all work is that, in the end, there's blood in the music, not tinsel.

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The connection between the hips and the heart has never been lost on me. And Everything is New will make sure it's not lost on you either.

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Serving Suggestion: Perfect for dinner prep as long as your kitchen's big enough to shake a little ass in. A vodka tonic with extra lime will limber you up without weighing you down.

7. The Horrors - Primary Colours

The phrase "alternative music" was originally coined to denote bands that were making music that was an alternative to what was being played on commercial radio at the time. Twentysome-odd years later, the phrase has come to mean absolutely nothing at all, at least in musical terms. Most of the insipid modern rock bands over-rotating on Top 40 radio today are deemed Alternative by record labels, distributors, etc.

(For proof of this, one need only check out the genre listing for crapsters like Panic at the Disco, My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy on iTunes.)
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But there was a time, dear readers, when you could walk into your local, independent record store (the one on the outskirts of downtown that had a funky, punny name and sold Bauhaus t-shirts, Creepers and "water pipes") and hear something you'd never heard before that would absolutely blow your mind. Something you couldn't hear on the radio. Something that sounded like nothing you'd ever heard before. For me, it was often something dark, fuzzy, flangey and British. And you'd ask the guy behind the counter who was playing and, with a brilliantly aloof blend of reluctance and condescension, he'd tell you. And you'd plunk your lawnmowing money down on the counter, buy the album (on cassette), take it home and DEVOUR it.
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The music that came out of the golden age of "alternative" (read: the early-to-mid 80's) holds a very prominent position in my musical consciousness. There's something about those bands and those songs and those album covers and those record stores that tickles a very particular corner of my soul. And when I first came across London's The Horrors, a certain adolescent giddiness took hold. It was as if I was standing dumbstruck among the skate mags and Siouxsie posters at Drastic Plastic all over again.
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I say all of this partly to avoid having to come up with some lame geekoid classification for Primary Colours. If you identify at all with the above, you've already got a pretty good picture of what the album feels like and who its antecedents are. I could use descriptors like "haunted", "opaque" and "abstruse". I could employ the obligatory and reductive "Meets" Technique. ("Dude. It's like Chameleons UK meets My Bloody Valentine meets Swans!") Alas, I'll spare us both and simply tell you that this album tickles that very same little corner of my soul that got me excited about music in the first place.

Serving Suggestion: A dark, spicy red would be the best sidekick for this one. Try the Tapeña tempranillo. Or light some candles and load a bowl. Either way, you're good to go.

6. Other Lives - Other Lives

There's under the radar and then there's under the radar. In the case of Oklahoma's Other Lives, the italicized delivery would be the one to choose. The little press that was given to the band's debut LP wasted precious ink on ill-conceived Radiohead comparisons and broadstroke summations. Thankfully, I have a chance to set the record straight.

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Yes, singer Jesse Tabish does have a somewhat Yorke-ian vocal register. Yes, "End of the Year" has some eerie similarities to "Paranoid Android". And, yes. The songs are expansive and borderline proggish at times. But as far as I'm concerned, any parallels beyond that are simply a symptom of lazy listening.
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Other Lives is dreamy, pastoral pop that, while reaching for the ether, keeps its feet firmly planted in the soil. Lush, gauzy and melancholic, the album is a ride along a winding stretch of rural American highway under a darkening, purple-bellied sky. In fact, if there were an award for Album Cover That Best Illustrates The Contents Of The Album Contained Within, meet this year's winner. Lilting piano, weepy cello and Tabish's crystalline croon are the hallmarks here. Particularly in "Paper Cities", which conjures cinematic visions of the wars at home and abroad. ("Put down your banners and flags / This war you've made won't last / And your country / Just lines on a map / They're drawn up / They won't last." ) And personal fave "It Was The Night" evinces such an atmosphere that you can almost hear a chill wind blowing through its bones.
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Other Lives is a moody listen, for sure. But if you're in that mood, nothing will treat you better.
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Serving Suggestion: A totally appropriate rainy day album. A strong, hot cup of tea sipped by a half-cracked window will round out the experience.

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5. Choir of Young Believers - This Is For The White In Your Eyes
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"Holy Crap! Are you hearing this?", The Missus asked me from the other end of the phone. We both tend to listen to KEXP at the office, but at the moment I was juggling about five jerkalicious projects so, no. I wasn't hearing this. The "this" in question was Choir of Young Believers' live in-studio performance at KEXP's New York outpost during the CMJ Music Festival. I had heard of the band and, at some point, had probably heard some song or other of theirs, but was not privy to whatever it was that was causing my wife to have a bona fide conniption in my ear. She was so excited (and I was subsequently excited by how excited she was) that we decided to check out their 3pm CMJ showcase at Living Room the following Saturday. A cramped coffeehouse-type space in the middle of the afternoon isn't a likely set up for a transcendent live music experience. But less than a minute into CoYB's first number, both of our jaws were on the floor.
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The first full-length from Danish singer-songwriter-guitarist Jannis Noya Makrigiannis and his rotating cast of sidefolk, This Is For The White In Your Eyes takes the My Morning Jacket/Fleet Foxes mold, breaks it, and arranges the remaining shards into an absolutely breathtaking mosaic. From the opening piano droplets of "Hollow Talk" to the Pet Sounds-tinged vocal layers on album closer "Yamagata", CoYB cover wide swaths of emotional territory. It's a 10-song journey that ends with more questions than answers, but leaves us richer for having taken the ride. In a year full of notable debuts (some worth the hype, some not), This Is For The White In Your Eyes is a truly thrilling discovery.
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Serving Suggestion: Perfect companion to a white, wintry day. The Missus also introduced me to the charms of the hot toddy this year. Put the kettle on, bust out the whiskey, honey and lemon and give this one a spin.
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4. Elvis Perkins in Dearland - Elvis Perkins in Dearland
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Elvis Perkins' debut Ash Wednesday was an aptly named meditation on death, grief and the process of rebuilding a life in the wake of tragedy. Sparse and contemplative, the album found Perkins trying to reassemble the pieces of his own life after his mother died tragically on September 11th, a day before the 9th anniversary of the death of his father, actor Anthony Perkins. Sonically, the album fairly well matched the themes tackled in songs like "Emile's Vietnam in the Sky", "Ash Wednesday", "It's a Sad World" and "Good Friday".
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Elvis Perkins in Dearland trods the same thematic ground, but from a notably different musical view. The skeletal lamentations of Ash Wednesday are given a fully-orchestrated overhaul here, adding banjo, clash cymbals, pump organ and horns to stirring and chilling effect. Instead of simply exploring the holes left behind by an absence, EPiD consciously reclaims the space. Songs like "Send My Fond Regards To Lonelyville" and "1, 2, 3 Goodbye" rassle with mortality but manage to keep their own shoulders well off the mat. Under Perkins' influence, what begin as funeral dirges blossom into full-blown Dixieland rave-ups. This contrast is nowhere more effective than on the album's crowning moment "Doomsday", which greets the apocalypse with a raised glass and a wild smile.

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Next to love, death is probably the second most oft-covered territory in popular music. Addressing it directly can be tricky business. That it not only avoids the usual pitfalls of such subject matter, but reframes how we think about the unthinkable is part of what makes Elvis Perkins in Dearland such a masterstroke.

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Serving Suggestion: A toast is in order here. A dry champagne drunk straight from the bottle while romping through New Orleans' French Quarter should do this one justice.

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3. Andrew Bird - Noble Beast
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A couple months before the release of Noble Beast, The Missus and I were treated to a preview of what would be the album's opening track during an Andrew Bird show in Tarrytown. Performing solo, violin, guitar and looping equipment all operating fluidly, Bird launched into "Oh No" and we knew immediately that we were going to be in for something special when the album dropped in January. Who else could get away with a chorus as lyrically quirktastic as: "And it would take a calculated blow to the head/to blind the eyes of all the harmless sociopaths/Arm in arm we are the harmless sociopaths/Oh, arm in arm with all the harmless sociopaths" without sounding either precious or pretentious? Few but the Birdman, I'll submit.

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Musically speaking, Noble Beast is not as ambitious as its predecessor, Armchair Apocrypha. (CYPJN?!'s #6 Album of 2007) Which is not to say it aspires to less. It simply reveals Bird playing to his strengths in a way that produces a slightly more refined collection of songs. All the signature elements are present: layered violin loops, virtuosic whistling, grainy electric guitar and a blend of acoustic and electronic rhythm tracks, all underpinning Bird's inimitable vocal flutter. What sets this album apart from Bird's previous work may be difficult to pin down in exact terms, but the primary takeaways fall under the umbrellas of Cohesion, Maturity and Accessibility.

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Noble Beast is elegantly-crafted, bucolic indie folk-pop at its finest. While it may not reach for the moon, what it accomplishes here on earth is still pretty astonishing. And if a true American original is going to borrow from anyone, it may as well be from himself.
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Serving Suggestion: A perfect springtime spin. Find the exact location pictured on the album cover, drop a blanket and park yourself in the late afternoon sun with a bottle of viognier.
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2. Fanfarlo - Reservoir

Fanwha...? Whofarly...? I know, I know. You've never heard of them. That's why you have me. And once you finally pick up your copy of Fanfarlo's brilliant debut Reservoir, I'll look forward to receiving copious Thank You's in my comments box.

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I hopped on the Fanfarlo bandwagon early. Early enough that Reservoir was available from their website for $1. Best goddamn dollar I spent all year. And it is no small coincidence that my number 2 album of the year comes courtesy of the same band that gave me my number 2 favorite show of the year (right behind The Veils' gig at Spaceland in L.A.).

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Hailing from London and centered around Swedish-born indie maestro Simon Balthazar, Fanfarlo take the multi-instrumental approach writ large by Arcade Fire and Beirut and distill it into a cozy cocktail of pure chamber-pop ecstasy. At first listen, one might even mistake Balthazar's sweet upper-register vibrato for that of Beirut's Zach Condon. Spend a little more time with the album, however, and you'll soon realize that direct-line comparisons to any particular influence are a moot exercise. There's something singular happening here.

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Fanfarlo brought something truly special to 2009 and Reservoir was a big part of my own personal soundtrack. My introduction to the band came via "The Walls Are Coming Down". That it would become my de facto anthem for the year is simultaneously head-scratching and totally appropriate. Plucky pizzicato violin, trumpet, xylophone, mandolin, acoustic guitar and a jaunty, mercurial bass line create a revelrous swell that belies the cynical snapshot presented in the lyrics. Actually, when I think about it, this dichotomy makes the song's appeal sort of a no-brainer for an eternal optimist who also happens to be intimately attuned to his dark side.

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Other noteworthy tracks include "I'm A Pilot", the lovely "If It Is Growing", and the lively "Harold T. Watkins, Or How To Wait For A Very Long Time". From beginning to end, Reservoir was hands-down 2009's most pleasant surprise.
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Serving Suggestion: I described the album as a cocktail, so there you go. Make yourself an Old Fashioned and gather some friends around the Victrola.

1. The Veils - Sun Gangs
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I've always wanted to do this.
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Show instead of tell.
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It's just... I mean... It's SO...
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No...
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I won't cheapen it with words.
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Ladies and Gentlemen....
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I give you...
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IMBA's #1 Album of 2009...
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Sun Gangs.

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Sun Gangs - The Veils

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........

AND.... The best of the rest...
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Honorable Mentions:
Richard Hawley - Truelove's Gutter
Fool's Gold - Fool's Gold
Foreign Born - Person to Person
The xx - XX
Built to Spill - There Is No Enemy
The Big Pink - A Brief History of Love
Neko Case - Middle Cyclone
Florence + The Machine - Lungs
Muse - The Resistance
Mos Def - The Ecstatic
Dinosaur Jr. - Farm
Sonic Youth - The Eternal

Capsula - Rising Mountains

EP of the Year:
Lissie - Why You Runnin'
...

Narrowing down this year's picks was a helluva feat, BUT I can already see next year's list forming in my head. With new releases by Spoon, LCD Soundsystem, Arcade Fire, Radiohead and Gogol Bordello on the horizon, 2010's countdown promises to be a crowded-ass affair.

Here's to all that the new year has in store, musically and otherwise...

Happy Listening.

Peace,
-IMBA

CoYB at CMJ

Choir of Young Believers stop by KEXP for a truly memorable in-studio while in town for the CMJ festival. We caught their 3pm showcase and loved, loved, LOVED...

U2ube Video of the Week; U2360 Tour LIVE from the Rose Bowl - ENTIRE SHOW

Ladies & Gents...

For those of you who missed out on seeing U2 this time around, check out the rebroadcast of their recent show in Pasadena. The band were filming the show for a future concert DVD and decided to allow online fans to join the 97,000 who showed up at the Rose Bowl for this amazing performance. The setlist is below. Oddly enough, my least favorite song on the album has become my favorite moment on the tour. At 1:20:29, check out the reimagined "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight". Tons of fun. ALSO, the "Amazing Grace" lead-in to "Streets" at 1:18:10 is pretty chill-inducing.

Enjoy...



Main Set: Breathe, Get On Your Boots, Magnificent, Mysterious Ways, Beautiful Day, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - Stand By Me, Stuck In A Moment, No Line On The Horizon, Elevation, In A Little While, Unknown Caller, Until the End of the World, The Unforgettable Fire, City of Blinding Lights, Vertigo - It's Only Rock and Roll, I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight (remix), Sunday Bloody Sunday, MLK, Walk On - You'll Never Walk Alone

Encore(s): One, Amazing Grace, Where the Streets Have No Name, Ultraviolet, With or Without You, Moment of Surrender

Ha. Yet another good case for the public option...

On the Occasion of Our 4th Wedding Anniversary

The past few months have been a helluva stretch for the IMBA/Chrysalis household. As we mark our 4th wedding anniversary (and are just shy of celebrating 12 years of couplehood), I find myself in a particularly reflective and appreciative state.

I spent the morning reflecting on our wedding and, in particular, our vows. At the risk of being romantically exhibitionist, I've decided to post my half of our vows below. As a reminder, as a celebration and as a benchmark for where we find ourselves four years later.

xo, baby.

K,

Today, as part of God’s plan for us, I become your husband.
It is an honor that I accept wholeheartedly and with great joy.
One that I will always relish and will never take lightly.
It is the role I’ve been preparing for my whole life.
*

Today I pledge my eternal fidelity. Of heart, of mind, of body, of soul.
That regardless of circumstance, our bond and the stewardship of our marriage will never be forsaken.
That from this day forward,
Whether you are at your best or at your worst,
You will never be alone.
*
I promise that you will always be cared for.
That I will always try to be your best medicine.
A rock.
An oasis.
Shelter from the storm.
And a warm place to call home.

*
That no matter how loudly the world may bark at us, you will always find solace in my arms.
*

I promise that all the work we’ve done in the past 8 years is merely the beginning.
That in me you will continue to have a partner in crime, and an ally in the good fight.

*
I promise never to lose track of myself.
That in the intervening years, you will continue to get no less than 100% of me.
That through the most joyous or most trying of times I will be…

*
Myself.

Always.

A friend.
A clown.
A muse.
A mirror.
Your biggest fan.
*

I promise never to forget what a jewel you are. And I promise to remind you when you forget yourself. When you’re feeling dull, I will be there to make you shiny again.

*
I make these promises to you today, with clearest mind and deepest heart,
In the presence of our friends, our family, our minister and our Creator,
That they may be witnessed and blessed.
Not as tokens of appreciation, but as my pure and earnest vows.
*
And today I thank you.

For introducing me to my truest self.
And for showing me that life and love have a potential I would not have known without you.

*

-IMBA, 10/02/05

Giggle of the Week

Alyssa makes me laugh as usual in this fab, faux-PSA re: the healthcare debate.

Ode to L.A.

How are you today, my L.A. Friends?

Are you bathed in sunlight
and draped in orange blossoms?

Are you starting the day with a run?
Shirtless, sweat-dappled and
obnoxiously fit?

Are you having lunch at the Farmer's Market?

Are you eating fish tacos?

Are you tackling the 10,
stuck in first
and wondering why
you didn't just take Olympic or Pico
(even though
they probably wouldn't have been any
faster)?

Are you taking the Laurel Canyon shortcut back over the hill?

Are you talking shop at the Coffee Bean?

Are you drinking solo at Frolic Room?

Or with friends at Delancey?
Sitting in the early evening breeze,
smoking a cigarette
and watching the sun set over Sunset?

Are you playing tennis in Griffith Park?

Are you tearing up a parking ticket in Silver Lake?

Are you wandering a supermarket in North Hollywood,
lamenting that you never learned Spanish?

Are you leaving the bar two hours earlier than you should have to?

Are you sitting in line at the Taco Bell drive-thru at 2am?
(And taken aback by the
inexplicably friendly service?)

Are you driving tipsy?

Are you praying for rain?

Are you dodging dog shit in Runyon Canyon?

Are you at the Arclight?
(Oh, the Arclight…)
And did you pick your seat?
(Oh, the Arclight…)
And having an utterly pleasant movie-going experience?
(Oh, the Arclight…)

Are you topping it off with some In'n'Out?
And doing it animal style?

Are you at Amoeba?
Spending more than you said you would?

Are you driving all the way to Culver City?
Just for Honey’s Kettle biscuits?

Are you cruising the PCH?
Listening to rock and roll,
windows down,
singing at the top of your lungs?

Did you stop at a crab shack on the side of the road?

Are you ending the day on the Venice boardwalk?

Are you drinking Tecate and lime over ice?

Are you taking the beach for granted?

Are you meeting people you'll never see again?
Are you meeting people you may one day call “friends”?

Are you flirting with a bass player?

Are you missing New York?

Are you full of hope?

Are you tan?

Are you calm?

Do you have troubles like the rest of us,
but everything's still pretty much
all right?

Is this you?
Was that me?

Sitting on a porch in Queens,
Weeks and miles removed,
it's hard to tell.

You were only supposed to be a
mistress.

You were only supposed to be a
fling.

You turned me upside down
because I asked you to.

And left me on my head.


-IMBA, Sep. '09

Since MTV Doesn't Play Music Videos Anymore...

...I WILL.


Oh, ELBOW. You do give me the shivers...

Muse - New Music - More Music Videos

The Missus and I have been Muse fans for some time now and it looks like they're finally ready to take the U.S. by storm. Saw them open for U2 last night. AMAZING.


This was a particular high-point from last night's U2 show. A song I don't care for on the album, but the band gives the song a re-think live. Much prefer this version. (Audience footage)


I have found the whole Black Cab Sessions idea at times brilliant and at times silly. Here, Fanfarlo gets the BCS treatment.

Fanfarlo Tonight

When I was a younger man, going to a show on a Monday night was no big.

I am no longer a younger man.

These guys better BRING IT....

THANK You

Robert Reich breaks it down REAL SIMPLE-LIKE for the SIMPLE FOLKS who think that the public option is the same thing as socialized medicine. Here you GO, dummies. Listen REAL CAREFULLY...



And THIS is just hysterical...

R.I.P., Ted

Ted Kennedy

"The Lion of the Senate"

1932-2009

"The more our feelings diverge, the more deeply felt they are, the greater is our obligation to grant the sincerity and essential decency of our fellow citizens on the other side. . . .

...

In short, I hope for an America where neither "fundamentalist" nor "humanist" will be a dirty word, but a fair description of the different ways in which people of good will look at life and into their own souls.

...

I hope for an America where no president, no public official, no individual will ever be deemed a greater or lesser American because of religious doubt -- or religious belief.I hope for an America where the power of faith will always burn brightly, but where no modern inquisition of any kind will ever light the fires of fear, coercion, or angry division.

...

I hope for an America where we can all contend freely and vigorously, but where we will treasure and guard those standards of civility which alone make this nation safe for both democracy and diversity."

...

-TK, 1983

Coolest Thing Ever...? PERHAPS.

GOGOL BORDELLO - LIVE FROM AXIS MUNDI

Releases October 6

This is cool on a number of levels:

A) Because it's a concert DVD and I LOVE concert DVDs.

2) Because there are few live bands on the planet more thrilling than Gogol Bordello, and...

D) Because we were THERE.

-

Irving Plaza, July 2007. The Missus' and my first ever Gogol show. Captured for eternity. Feel like we should have a viewing party and give the home theater system a genuine workout. I apologize to our neighbors in advance...

Had Enough/Can't Get Enough - Revival Edition

This feature - originally designed to come in weekly installments - last appeared in September of '08 (and before that, April of '07). I am a complete and total slacker.

Here's a rundown of my hits and misses for this week...

HAD ENOUGH

• Humidity. - I KNOW it's been the mildest summer we've had in years, but that doesn't make my armpits any less sticky. L.A. spoiled me.
• Pandering to right-wingers in order to come up with a bi-partisan (" ") health care bill. It's never going to happen without the end result turning into some bullshit, milquetoasty, Frankenstein piece of legislation that doesn't address the people who are struggling under the current setup and ultimately fails because it tries to serve two masters. The American people voted definitively for CHANGE. The guy who wins the election gets to set the agenda. Time to stop giving lip service to the flat-earthers and GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT.
• Douchebags who think it's cool to bring an assault rifle to a political rally "because [they] can". Ahhhh, the Second Amendment. "Building Self-Esteem For Men With Small Pee-pees Since 1791."
• Nightmares. - Don't know what my subconscious has been trying to work out lately, but... damn.
• $2.25 a ride.
• Michael Vick signing with the Eagles. Fuck him, fuck them AND, in case you're sitting there thinking "Hey, listen, the guy made a mistake but he paid his debt to society blah-blah", then howsabout I come over to your house, hang, beat and electrocute one of your pets, and then see if you can muster that same response when I'm out of jail in 19 months. Oh, and by the way... Calling a wrong number or not putting a stamp on an envelope is a MISTAKE. Murdering a fucking DOG isn't. Idiot.

That said, I simply...

CAN'T GET ENOUGH

• Mad Men season premiere. - So cruel to make us wait a whole week for the next one.
• Thunder and lightning. - There are few things sexier than a crazy summer downpour.
• Pizza from Apicius.
• TimeOut New York. - LOVING getting caught up on the issues I missed while I was gone.
• U2360 video teasers.
• My wife. - She's awesome, right? I know.
• "Synecdoche, New York". - Pure genius. The Missus and I are still talking about this one.
  
• The new Jack Penate. - Album's available on eMusic, iTunes and at your local independent record store. Just go buy it. Have I ever steered you wrong before?
  
  
  

And this. I mean, it's a bird petting a cat. What's not to love?

Bird Pets Cat @ Yahoo! Video

R.I.P., Most Important Person in Rock'n'Roll History

Les Paul

1915-2009

L.A. Epilogue

Made it out of L.A. on the first flight Friday with no problems. Go figure.

Didn't book "House", which was no surprise given what they were ostensibly looking for. But, again. The call itself was the main win and as Yogalia pointed out, it takes some people a really long time to get an audition in L.A., let alone a network audition. So, I'll take the experience for what it was and hope it means there will be more calls down the road.

To those of you who I missed this round (Dup, Hil, Spacepants, etc.), I'm sorry we didn't get to connect. But if there's one thing I know for certain, I will be back in your neck of the woods for one reason or another some time soon.

I'm sure I will be digesting this trip for some time to come. As my NY life begins to officially take back the reins I'm sure I will be fighting to keep the experience from floating away, but for right now the sensory elements of it are still very fresh in my consciousness.

So there you have it. After almost 6 action-packed weeks, I am home.

What's next is anyone's guess.

Thanks for taking the ride with me.

-IMBA

L.A. Dispatch - Addendum

Um, yeah... So... I'm still here.

I'll give you the nut of it as succinctly as I can. Tried to leave on the first flight out of LAX on Monday. Got there at 4:30 am. Trying to use a Delta "buddy pass" which involves flying standby. Could. NOT. Get on. ANYTHING.

At 4:20 PEE EM, I'm about to finally make it onto a flight to Salt Lake when I get an e-mail from Actor's Access with an audition request from the CD's for "House". For the NEXT DAY. Much scrambling ensues. And of course my luggage had managed to make it out on the first flight of the day.

The audition went well, though I don't think I'm completely right for the part. And given that it was ONE LINE, they were probably looking more for type than chops anyway. (Conservative business executive? REALLY?) BUT... they CALLED ME IN. An unrepresented actor who'd only been in town for a month. (Cue the scene in Breakfast Club where Anthony Michael Hall gives himslef a congratulatory punch in the arm after writing the letter.)

So, here I am.In absolute limbo. Broke, exhausted and only recently reunited with my luggage. BIG thanks to M.J. and Tera for letting me extend my stay unexpectedly. Total saving angels. AND to Drew and Michelle for graciuosly lending me their rad Toyota Yaris for a few days.

So, um.... Yeah. Your guess is as good as mine as to what the hell's going on. Monday was a clear reminder of the old joke: The best way to make God laugh? Tell him your plans...

Can. Not. WAIT.

It Might Get Loud Trailer
by wallyz75

Final L.A. Dispatch - 8/2 - Last Thoughts

Seems hard to believe we've arrived at the final L.A. dispatch.  A full month. Might as well have been a week. Or an hour.  Again with the whole mutability of time thing.  

Given that it's 11:30pm and I have to get up at 3am to head to the airport, I don't have a full-blown post in me. Just a few final thoughts on my time here....

• My last day was spent returning my rental car and packing, followed by sushi dinner with M.J. and Tera in Marina del Rey. After, we grabbed some Cold Stone in Venice and took a sunset stroll along the pier. Perfect way to end the month. 

• To be honest, I'm having pretty mixed feelings about heading back to my NY life right now.  L.A.'s really been making a case for itself in the past few days.  I think I've just started adjusting to the SoCal lifestyle and am finding myself enjoying it in a way I hadn't expected. As M.J. put it, "It looks good on you."  I think a month away from my job, NYC summertime humidity, rain, noise, antagonism and crowds has had more of an effect on me than I've realized. 

• I've met some really cool people out here and have found myself much more at ease meeting new people than I usually am.  One of the cool people I met is a friend of Eion and Raf's named Dave. Dave is a photographer and music producer with a super sweet studio space on Hollywood and Cahuenga. (His website is pretty rad.) I mention him in particular because he produced an album by an artist named Kerli, a young, Estonian, Bjork-tinged,  emo/pop starlet whose music (for the most part) is totally not my cup of tea. However, I got COMPLETELY HOOKED a song of hers called "The Creationist" which has been stuck in my head for two weeks now and has become the defacto theme for my entire trip. Two versions of the song are below: the studio version and an adorable webcam video made in Dave's studio (and featuring Dave in the background) that Kerli made for a sick fan whose sister wrote her a letter.  There is NO LOGICAL REASON FOR ME TO LIKE THIS SONG. But for some reason, I DO.

• I have come to really enjoy the weather here. 

• I got a haircut from someone other than my NY stylist for the first time in about 12 years.

•  I did not get to explore L.A.'s donut culture in the way I had hoped. I'll put it on the list for next time. 

• I went to Amoeba Records twice.  I found three out-of-print albums that I'd been looking for for years.  In the USED section. For $5-$7 each.  If heaven has a record store, I can't imagine it being much better than Amoeba. 

• I am fairly dreading returning to my job at the American Express Company, BUT am VIGILANTLY attempting to reframe my approach to that situation and the feelings surrounding it to avoid falling right back into a Pavlovian pattern of knee-jerk despair. 
  

• I deeply value the chance I had to reconnect with my L.A. friends. I will miss them dearly.

• I very much look forward to reconnecting with my NY friends.  I have missed them dearly. 

• Beyond anything else, I need some face time with my wife. Right now, each of us is a table with a missing leg trying to hold a lot of heavy shit. 

In the end, I'll simply say THANK YOU, Los Angeles.  Your charms did not go unnoticed. Nor did your shortcomings.  But in the end, the person who leaves you is not the same person who landed 33 days ago. 

And that's a very good thing.

-IMBA

L.A. Dispatch - 7/30: Winding Down

All evening long I've been trying to shake an impending feeling of melancholy as I'm trying to process the fact that the L.A. Experiment is coming to a close. The opening strains of "One For My Baby (And One More For The Road)" have literally been bouncing around my head all night. (The live mid-70's Sinatra version with the Nelson Riddle arrangement, of course. The one he sings, cigarette in hand, playing drunker and sleepier as the song goes on. A Channel 13 fundraising drive classic.)

First: a recap of the past few days. 

• Been getting in fairly regular runs, which feels great. 
  
• Did some pro-bono consulting for Eion and Raf last week re: a potentially ridiculously cool opportunity for their project. (Will expand on that down the road if it comes to pass, at which point the "pro-bono" pun can be fully appreciated.) 
• Played tennis with Willis in Griffith Park on Sunday. Haven't really ever played, but... I have to say... as it turns out... I'm not very good. But I had a blast and it was fantastic exercise. 
• Sent my laptop rental back on Tuesday, followed by a drive up the PCH to Zuma Beach. One of the most perfect marriages of drive and soundtrack ever. 
• Second workshop with Russell Scott (Lie to Me, Breaking Bad) last night. Mock producer's session. Put my sides up against three other guys and was chosen as the guy who'd ultimately get the part. Second experience with the whole "mock producer's session" setup and the second time I was chosen. Not tooting a horn, just taking the info and running with it. 
• Second workshop with Todd Sherry (Chuck, Human Target) tonight. Really amazing teacher.  Tons of nuggets.  Aced my scene. No adjustments and an enthusiastic verbal thumbs-up to my work. 
• Ending the night at Darkroom with Lindsay Lohan and John Hamm. 
  

So, yeah. Here I sit. Musing, replaying, digesting, questioning. Recognizing all the while that evaluating this experience before it's even concluded is akin to writing a review of a play based on a tech rehearsal. I'm fully convinced that the nut of the L.A. Experiment won't be sussed for some time to come.

Would I have LIKED to have gotten a meeting with a legit agent within the 4 weeks I was here based on the mass mailing I did a week prior? Yes. Would I LIKE to get a call from one of the 13 CD's I've now met for an audition BEFORE I LEAVE? Of course. Do I wish we had the funds to keep me here a couple more weeks to sow more seeds and tend the ones I've already sprinkled? Well, sure. These would all be more readily measurable ways of evaluating the efficacy of this trip. And yet... I don't know how valuable that line of questioning is. Especially since I'm STILL HERE. And ANY one of these CD's could call me at ANY time. Tomorrow, three months, two years. Not a supposition, just the nature of the business.

While I have no ultimate summation of what the past month has "meant", I will simply say that the basic idea has been served...  The idea of rebooting myself. Of physically lifting myself out of the rut I'd carved in NY.  Of putting myself in front of industry folks and DELIVERING. Of investigating Los Angeles and all it has to offer.

I have a new lens.  I have a fresh attitude about the pros and cons of both L.A. and NY.  I have renewed confidence in my own work.  I got a BREAK from the grind.  

And right now, that's feeling okay...

-IMBA

L.A. Dispatch - 7/25

The workshop wave began this week. Started Monday night with my (thank God) LAST session at TVI. Lauren Fernandes from Heidi Leavitt Casting. They cast mostly features. Lots of indies and some studio stuff, including several Oliver Stone pics. My scene was weird and the level of talent was unusually low, even by TVI's usually low standards. Followed up with an email the next day and she responded surprisingly quickly with a positive shoutout to my reel.

Wednesday began my residency at Act Now!, which touts itself as the "most exclusive networking outlet in L.A." (AND, I would argue, the most unfortunately named.) That said, the experience at Act Now as compared to TVI was like night and day. Of course there's duds in every workshop, but by and large the participants at Act Now seem to KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING, which was refreshing.

Wednesday night - First of 2 intensives with Russell Scott, associate CD for "Lie to Me" and "Breaking Bad". Great guy, seems to know his way around a scene. Liked the work.

Thursday night - First of 2 intensives with Todd Sherry of Patrick Rush casting. CD for "Chuck". AMAZING class. TONS of useful nuggets re: auditioning for TV. Really good-hearted and funny guy. Second workshop with someone from that office and I like the way they do things. Got a call the next morning from my Act Now rep saying that Todd made specific mention of me in his eval form and that apparently I stood out and made an impression. Spent the rest of the morning on the phone with The Missus weighing the likelihood of getting a call for "Chuck" before I bail and briefly brainstorming ways to keep me here a week or two longer. I say "briefly" because the numbers quickly revealed themselves to be not-at-all cooperative. Regardless, I added it to the list of shows I need to familiarize myself with on Hulu.

This morning - First of two intensives with Stephanie Laffin, CD for "House". Funny, brassy and matter-of-fact, her contributions were more anecdotal than practical, but one of my questions did lead her to take a look at my resume, which elicited a round of "Oh, you worked with Gus, love him... Oh, you know Suzanne, love her... ", etc. ANYTHING you can do to distinguish/legitimize yourself is a boon. Not a game I like to play, but a game I've learned I simply HAVE to play. She responded to the work and gave me a "nice to meet you, I'll tell Suzanne I met you" on the way out. "Suzanne" being Suzanne Ryan, head CD for L&O. In my head I thought, "Yeah, actually, please don't. Because I'm going to be hitting her up for L&O work in a little over a week and YOU'RE supposed to think I'm LIVING here."

Basically, I'm living a double life right now. I am cheating on NY with LA and praying neither of them finds out about the other. The push and pull of this has been taking a toll over the past week and solidly landed after this morning's workshop. I've essentially added a new level of duality to my already-dual existence. Day job v. career pursuit and now LA v. NY. The efforts I make toward designing a fully-integrated life have DISintegrated me that much more.

And today the braindrain reached a fever pitch.

I took a break from the mental back'n'forth with a nap this afternoon and am back in workitout mode at Three of Clubs on Santa Monica and Vine. Made popular by being featured in "Swingers", but sleepy and sparse on this particular Saturday night.

Missing The Missus. Monumentally. Sort of obvious, but the pangs are no less sharp.

All Hamleting aside, I have had some less-than-minor revelations this week. Which I will get into in another post.

For now, it's time to load the jukebox...

-IMBA

"No, Ms. Burn... Thank YOU."

An excerpt from Veils bassist Sophia Burn's latest blog post regarding the L.A. show and how she wishes she could thank her fans...

"...I suppose one of the things we could do is play a good show, and as far as being happy with how a show goes, it couldn't get much better than spaceland. One of my favourites of all time, that one."

One of mine too, sister...

One of mine too.

L.A. Dispatch - 7/23: Dustin' off the ol' Bogosian...

Okay, so after Miss Shanti Town herself got an agent to give her a second look with a video monologue (after which, he called her in for a second meeting and then SIGNED HER), I figured it was time to renew my old Scene Interactive subscription and repost my video monologue.

Bottom line is, any quick and easy opportunity they have to get a sense of you is a good thing. I'd long since pooh-pooh'd the idea of this being a valid marketing tool, but every CD I've met so far has welcomed any and all reel materials as a way to check you out.

So, here goes... Gotta do some major updates to my page, but below is the work itself. Rockin' a different look at the time, but I think it holds up pretty well.

Okay, so...

I'm not still not sure where I land with the new album, BUT... I'm getting STOKED for the show...

L.A. Dispatch - Saturday, 7/18

Alright, so maybe the idea of doing DAILY dispatches was wrong-headed to begin with. Alas, here are the high points from the last few days followed by pictures below...

Wednesday:
Had lunch in Los Feliz with my old Diner Theatre co-star Colleen Cavanaugh and her ADORABLE little boy Jasper. Very nice to touch base after 15 years.

Wednesday Night:
Went to see The Veils at Spaceland in Silver Lake. I'll start with the venue. Great space. Just a straight up rock'n'roll bar with a small stage and an enclosed upper area where you can actually SMOKE without having to leave the building. Great vibe, accessible, no pretense. My kinda place.

Moments after entering, I noticed Veils bass player Sophia (small crush) setting up the merch table. A reminder that the band is not as big as I keep thinking they should be. We rapped briefly about their last two NY shows and she was happy to oblige a cellphone snapshot. (Which turned out brilliantly as you'll see below. We desperately need a new camera. Ours is basically the digital equivalent of a goddamn daguerreotype.)

I gave each opening band one song with which to impress me, but each failed miserably so I hung out mainly in the upstairs lounge through both sets.

Then, The Veils. AMAZING show. Finn was on fire. And even though the band doesn't have quite the fan base here that they do in NY, the place was still enthusiastically packed. I'd give you a full play-by-play, but this L.A. Times review of the show pretty much nails it. Exhilirating.

The bulk of the crowd left immediately after the show, so when the band bellied up to the bar I had a chance to chat with Sophia again and briefly with Finn, who also graciously granted a blurry cell snap. Amazing band, great venue, really satisfying show.

Thursday Evening:
Dinner with Drew and family in Toluca Lake. Really good to catch up after, like, 6 years?? Bonkers. Drew made manicotti stuffed with herbed goat cheese and a bunch of random vegetarian materials during which we polished off a bottle of chianti. Both the meal and the wine were pretty great.

Friday:
At this point I'd been in L.A. for two weeks and hadn't yet made it to the beach. There's something truly unnatural-feeling about spending an entire day at a computer when it's in the upper 70's and sunny out. This was starting to wear on me and I decided that a trip to the ocean was becoming a moral imperative.

The 10 dumps out right by the Santa Monica pier and since I'd never been, I figured it was worth a wander. I'd heard the beach at Santa Monica wasn't the best but, frankly, compared to the Rockaways it was paradise. After a stroll on the pier, I parked myself in the sand and spent a few hours vacating.

Friday Night:
Raf hatched the idea the other night to have an impromptu mini-AADA reunion. I was dubious about what kind of a group we could cobble together on such short notice, but figured even if it was just me, M.J., Raf and Eion, it'd be worth doing. Raf suggested Delancey on Sunset, which turned out to be a great pick. I was able to reserve a table outside. Ended up being an intimate group, but we had a blast catching up.

A friend of Eion's joined us and after drinks we ended up at his surprisingly NY-feeling recording studio/loft space on Hollywood and Cahuenga. A good time was had by all. Some nostalgia was inevitable, but the conversation centered mainly on the present and we all reconnected with ease.

Today:
Workshops today with Jeffrey Drew from Patrick Rush Casting (Chuck, Privileged, Men in Trees, The O.C., Everwood and the new series Human Target) and Katie Piel from Webster/Weisberg Casting (Criminal Minds, Leverage, Lost, CSI, Alias and Dylan McDermott’s new series Dark Blue. They also cast films including the new Star Trek). Both intensives were at TVI (blech).

My sides for Jeffrey Drew were fun and he responded with particular enthusiasm to my work. Honestly, I don't see how he couldn't given how low the bar was set by the rest of the participants. He said his office casts 60-80% of their episodic co-stars and guest stars from these kinds of workshops.

Katie Piel was straight-forward and no-nonsense. Silly scene, but she said it was "perfect" and didn't give any adjustments. Feels good to at least finally be plugging in in a tangible way.

Tonight:
Solo beer at Little Bar after an unexpected evening nap. I was nodding off all day, so I figured I'd close my eyes for a bit when I got home. Woke up at 8:30. I hate naps. They're completely disorienting. Not at all refreshing. They make me feel oogy.

Tomorrow is essentially free despite some personal errands, budgeting, a run, etc.

Monday begins some hardcore door-knocking. Have to try and follow up more aggressively with the folks I met in March and let them know that I'MHEREANDI'MNOTFUCKINGAROUND, so CALLMEIN,FUCKERS.

Jury's still out on what I'm actually accomplishing here professionally. Only time will tell if it was worth the time and effort. Bottom line is, I simply can't concern myself with that. The ONLY thing I can do is hustle in as focused a manner as possible and then LET IT GO.


Easier said than done.


The clatter of my daily N.Y. life seems very far away, which I'm finding simulatneously refreshing and heart-wrenching. The dichotomy of my life there - The Missus, our animals, our apartment, the City VS. the dayjob/career struggle - is coming into even clearer focus out here. I am very acutely missing my wife and our shared world and at the same time am also feeling deliciously distant from the grind. How that feeling will evolve and what it will eventually ask of me, I don't know.

But I do know this... Something in me is beginning to dislodge.

I'm not sure I can put a name to it. But I'm hoping whatever it is is something I've needed to let go of for a long time.

- IMBA

Colleen and the superadorable Jasper.

Finn of The Veils doing "The Letter".

Sophia of The Veils during "Larkspur".

Me and my girlfriend Sophia.

Me with The Missus' boyfriend Finn.

Drew's daughter Gabriella. Cutey, much?

I decided to take the day off from directing porn to get a little sun.

Santa Monica pier.

Laura breaks it down for M.J.

Kara regales the boys.

Eion

Eion, Raf, Kara

M.J. and Laura

L.A. Dispatch - Sunday, 7/12

First workshop at TVI yesterday. John Barba from Lisa Fields Casting. TVI has a rep in NY for being notoriously schnick-schnock and the L.A. outpost was no different. The bottom of the barrell in terms of participants since there's no real audition process. Every bad/desperate/failed actor stereotype was in attendance. And the whole thing was totally disorganized. That said, the guest was great. NY expat. Theatre background. Got his start in L.A. at LaJolla Playhouse then made the leap to film working on P.T. Anderson movies. Helped cast each one since "Magnolia". Has a lot of major credits and a lot of projects in the works. The sides he picked were totally wrong for me, but he really liked what I did with them. Loved the fact that I was a Meisner-trained NY actor. Also, it seems a Law & Order credit carries a lot more weight out here than it does in the City. Go figure.

Met Rich at a party in N. Hollywood. Left early, but was psyched to have a chance to catch up after, like, 10 years.

Intended to tackle some outdoor activities today but thanks to a late night and a hearty dose of Nyquil, I managed to sleep until 1pm. Genius.

Meeting Raf for drinks in the hills tonight. Yes, it's a real place and yes, it's full of those kinds of people. Not my scene, but close to Eion's place. Sidebar: I should take a moment to shill for their latest project. Entertainment Weekly called Imagine This! the "best show not yet on TV". Raf gave me a screener copy when I was here in March and I have to say, the pilot is pretty damn impressive. Trailer's below. Raf directed, Eion hosts. They've got a lot of traction toward getting it on the air, but if you want help support check out the website (also below).

Officially been away from home for 2 full weeks now. Still caught in this weird funhouse mirror of time-perception. But now that I've got a decent schedule of workshops on the calendar, I'm feeling less scrambly. Going to make a point of taking advantage of what the area has to offer in my downtime. Have beach trips and hikes planned in my head and will try to get one or both in some time this week. Have been jogging every other day and have made some serious dietary changes and am finding this whole not-having-a-dayjob thing quite agreeable.

(sigh)

- IMBA

Trailer for Imagine This!

Find more videos like this on Imagine This! TV

L.A. Dispatch - Wednesday, 7/8

I had a conversation with The Missus this afternoon about the mutability of time. Or at least the mutability of our perception of it. How a particular number of days or weeks can simultaneously drag on and on AND seemingly disappear in an instant.

In the context of what I am trying to accomplish here, it's as if the pages of the day-at-a-glance calendar are flying wildly off the wall in rapid succession and I'm desperately trying to grab them in midair, slap them back on and glue them secure.

I have been in Los Angeles for exactly a week. And today it hit me exactly how little time I have here. And then, of course, the inevitable flood of What-the-fuck-am-I-doing-here?'s. So far, I don't have nearly the networking opportunities lined up for myself that I was hoping to by this point. And that's making me feel anxious and disjointed.

I did manage to arrange interviews with two different networking groups today. One for tomorrow and one for Friday. Both require cold-read auditions, which shouldn't be a problem. So, hopefully by next week I can actually start getting in front of some actual casting people.

Nevertheless, I can hear the clock ticking.

And I have to stay clear about what I can realistically accomplish with this trip. When I first started entertaining the notion o f another L.A. stab, I used one criteria as my gauge for what would have to happen to make this venture "worth doing". The basic thought was this: If someone were to tell me they were planning on coming to New York for "a month or two" to try and get the ball rolling on an acting career, I would laugh heartily, clap them on the back and tell them, "Listen... You're either doing it or you're not doing it. You want to work here, you gotta BE HERE. Figure out what your priorities are and then commit." And by that standard, I obviously knew that I wasn't going to come here for a month (or two) and book a series regular.

So what The Missus and I had to decide was, Is it worth it to jump through all the hoops we need to jump through to get me out here to simply sow some seeds? Would it be worth it to just get me here, do a mailing, follow up with the people I met in March, take advantage of whatever networking opportunities I could line up and just see what kind of nibbles I get?

And we decided, yes.

We decided to play it by ear and have some faith. We decided that putting any pressure on specific outcomes would guarantee that the whole venture would be a monumental waste of time. It had to be okay for this to simply be an adventure. A sabbatical. An opportunity to spend a concentrated amount of time in L.A. and see how I feel about it. To plug myself in. To spread myself around. To give 8 hours a day to MY pursuits rather than giving 8 hours a day to American Express's pursuits.

To get lost.

Get a tan.

To reconnect with west coast friends I never get to see.

To run on the beach.

To drive the PCH.

To eat fish tacos.

Or whatever.

This was the idea.

But tonight I'm finding it necessary to really remind myself of that. Because I'm getting itchy. And antsy. And scrambly. And outcome-obsessed.

And I can not allow it.

There's simply not enough time.

-IMBA