"Sunday Bloody Sunday" - Dubya Style

This first came my way a few weeks ago courtesy of Jesse, Maker of Huts. It's been making the rounds at YT, so I figured it was worth posting. Pretty clever...

Had Enough/Can't Get Enough #4

Yup. That time again. And this week I've totally Had Enough:

• Talk of Britney or anything Britney-related. Seriously. Enough already, guys. Could we all please just not? ...Please?
• Statements beginning with: "My whole thing is..."
• Oscar hype
• My morning commute

But, for some reason I just Can't Get Enough:

• John Varvatos' Men's Collection for Fall 2007
• Paris Commune. Took The Missus out to dinner Friday night. Jeez Louise. I had the pork chop stuffed with goat cheese, figs, and carmelized shallots with truffle oil mashed potatoes and a glass of Chilean carmenere and I'm still not over it. The kind of meal makes you want to cry. Make sure you visit the Rouge Wine Bar downstairs first where you will personally be served by Val Kilmer's super-nice gay identical twin who also happens to be their resident sommelier.
• This movie, which we're still talking about
• The Sea & Cake - "One Bedroom"

Having A Coke With You

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluoresent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary

it is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary
when right in front of it in the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them I look at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time

and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider as carefully as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvellous experience which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it

-Frank O'Hara (1960)

There's no denying that this is a contrived consumerist holiday. I get that. But today finds me thinking of The Missus and the above poem. It's one of my all-time favorites and was read with aplomb by the honorable K. P. O'Fagan II at our wedding. I've always loved the idea of Valentine's Day, and given that this is the TENTH such holiday we've spent together, I'm finding myself ruminating on it even more intently than I usually do.

So, raise a glass with me and let's all give a toast to my lovely, lovely wife. "Alla salute", baby. "Cin, cin..."

The Ministry of Silly Walks

A) Because it's one of my all-time favorite Python sketches.
2) Because I haven't posted in a week and it was easy.
D) Because I really needed the lift today and..
D) Because you do to.

Pay close attention to Terry Jones as John Cleese passes him in the hallway. If you don't piss yourself, I'll give you five bucks...

Kanga's Got The Blues

MOLLY IVINS 1944-2007

Molly Ivins was a close friend of my wife's family. She and my father-in-law were deskmates at Columbia journalism school about a thousand years ago and remained close ever since. She had a huge influence on both Kate and her sister, Molly. (Whose name is no coincidence)

I had the pleasure of meeting her a couple years ago when she was on a book tour that came through New York in support of "Bushwacked: Life in George W. Bush's America". She took Kate and me out to breakfast. I found her to be truly warm, charming, extraordinarily quick and absolutely hysterical.

She's also fantastically quotable. Below is a picture of Kate and Molly after our breakfast at the Plaza followed by some selected quotes from over the years. She was a real tiger. An outspoken liberal firebrand and fighter of the good fight. She will be greatly missed...


Some gems from Molly Ivins...

• The first rule of holes: when you're in one, stop digging.

• What you need is sustained outrage...there's far too much unthinking respect given to authority.

• I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.

• Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous.

• The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.

• Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.

• There are two kinds of humor. One kind that makes us chuckle about our foibles and our shared humanity -- like what Garrison Keillor does. The other kind holds people up to public contempt and ridicule -- that's what I do.

• I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil. And that no one knows the truth.

• You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to.

• What stuns me most about contemporary politics is not even that the system has been so badly corrupted by money. It is that so few people get the connection between their lives and what the bozos do in Washington and our state capitols. Politics is not a picture on a wall or a television sitcom that you can decide you don't much care for.

• I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years.

• I still believe in Hope - mostly because there's no such place as Fingers Crossed, Arkansas.

• I am not anti-gun. I'm pro-knife. Consider the merits of the knife. In the first place, you have to catch up with someone in order to stab him. A general substitution of knives for guns would promote physical fitness. We'd turn into a whole nation of great runners. Plus, knives don't ricochet. And people are seldom killed while cleaning their knives.

• Any nation that can survive what we have lately in the way of government, is on the high road to permanent glory.

Okay, so...

...THIS SHIT? Made me laugh. Out loud. In my cube.

This is from an actual DVD called Mother Goose Rocks. You have to watch all the way through to see who joins him. Absolute pisser...

Had Enough/Can't Get Enough #3

So, this week I've absofrigginlutely Had Enough of...

• Anything involving this dummy and his complete and total lack of anything resembling a fucking clue
• People who buy anything the aforementioned dummy has to say
• ANY MOTHERFUCKER who blocks the GODDAMN DRIVEWAY we pay $125 A FUCKING MONTH FOR, especially the GODDAMN RED TRUCK with New York plates DDK 8593
• Women in my office who up-end? Everything they say? Even when it's not a question? Like, when they're just, you know... trying to make a statement?
• Financial stagnancy

But I just really, really Can't Get Enough...

• O B A M A and ideas like this
• El Coto 2003 Crianza
• The Bruces - "War of the Bruces"
• sleep

P.S. Hey, I noticed you didn't make reservations for my show yet. No, no, no, really. It's cool. I just figured... I mean, it's totally not a big deal or whatever, but... I just thought maybe you'd want - I mean, you're not mad at me or anything are you...? Is this about the whole Awesome Blossom thing...? Because if it is then I think you're being completely petty and ridiculous and you just need to get over yourself. I mean, I go to all of your shows. Even the one at that abandoned shoe factory in fucking Brooklyn where you didn't even have any lines, but you just sat there wearing a diaper, rocking back and forth and repeating the word "ambivalence" while a transexual junkie played Philip Glass on a toy piano.

I mean, whatever. It's no big deal. I just figured if you weren't busy...

Listen, I'm not ignoring you...

...I've just been busy, okay? It's nothing personal. I just need some time to focus on me right now. I mean, you know... more than I usually do.

I promise once this week's over, I'll pay more attention to you, alright? Maybe I'll take you to Applebee's and then we can catch a matinee of "Stomp the Yard" or something. You can get that platter of fried onion pieces you like so much. The one that comes with its own special-made zesty dipping sauce.

But for right now you've just gotta get the fuck off my back.

Okay?

A Show You're Going to Come See Next Week

A Potentially Over-Earnest but Well-Intentioned Video Tribute to Dr. King

Nothing written about the man topped his own words. First, "I Have a Dream" in it's entirety...



Followed by a tribute video including a clip from his famous speech given the night before his assassination...


And, of course, a couple tributes from the boys...
"Pride (In The Name Of Love)", Live from the Zoo TV tour, Sydney - 1993


And finally, "MLK" from "Rattle & Hum"

Praise from Frantic Puppy on my "Law & Order" performance (And a P.S.)

A quote from the Frantic Puppy e-mail review of my turn as Dr. George Amiri on last night's episode of "Law & Order"...

" I have never seen anyone play a stressed out, gay, Chinexican ER doctor so well..."

No you haven't, sir. Nor has the world...

And for those of you who have inquired, yes. An offer is on the table from NBC for a Dr. Amiri spinoff called "Chop Shop"- an hour-long dramedy about the seedy (and somehow lovably kooky) underbelly of the illegal organ harvesting trade and the Queens healthcare system. Look for it next fall...

P.S. If you missed my minute of brilliance, the episode is now available on iTunes. The title is "Remains of the Day". I'm hoping to have the clip up soon, though.

Happy New Year! (Eleuthera Style)

The CYPJN? BEST OF '06 SUPERMIX!

Okeydokers, folkers... As promised, HERE'S It Must Be Aaron's downloadable "Best of '06 Supermix"!! Some of my favorite songs from the past year.

Almost all of these tracks were released by the bands via legal, free download websites for promotion of the album and the couple that weren't are within sharing guidlines, so enjoy. Just click on the song title link, right click on the "Download Now Securely" button and select "Save Target As". And of course, if you fall in love - go buy the album! You can find many of them at eMusic and probably all of them at either iTunes or your local independent record store. They're only available for a week, so get crackin'!

***

Heartless Bastards “Into the Open”
The Black Angels “Bloodhounds on my Trail”
M. Ward "To Go Home"

Keane “Is It Any Wonder?”
Built to Spill “Conventional Wisdom”
Sonic Youth “Incinerate”
Silversun Pickups “Lazy Eye”
Guillemots “Made Up Love Song”
Page France “Chariot”
Midlake “Roscoe”
Beck “Cell Phone’s Dead”
The Black Keys “Just Got To Be”
Editors “You Are Fading”
Band of Horses “The Funeral”
Alexi Murdoch “Orange Sky”
Jeremy Enigk “River to Sea”
DeVotchka “How It Ends”

***

HAVE YOURSELVES A MAJORLY UNSUCKY CHRISTMAS, HANNUKAH AND NEW YEAR!

Only Seven Days Until We're...

Here.

Oh, yes.

Yes, sir.

Yessirree, Bobbo.

Es-yay, ir-say.

Yessa-messa-moo-moo.

We's gonna be all up in this mo'fucka...

Jealous?

It's okay.

I would be too.

If I were you.

But I'm not.

The CYPJN? TOP SIX ALBUMS of 2006

Yes, yes, yes, I know. You're completely over all of the 2006 "Year in Review" specials and "Best Of" lists. And I can't blame you. I'm over them too. They're ubiquitous and grating and, I find, ridiculously unauthoratative. But what all of these TV shows and articles are missing is the one important ingredient to any reliable, intelligent and comprehensive evaluation - my two cents. 2006 was a fantastic year for new music and saw equally fantastic releases by not-so-new bands. So, here we go... (click on album title link to preview)

1. Jeremy Enigk - "World Waits"

I mentioned this album in one of my first posts and I still can't seem to get over it. It's the second (and far superior) solo album from the former frontman of both Sunny Day Real Estate and The Fire Theft. From the opening grandeur of the instrumental "A New Beginning" to the emotionally gutting swell of album closer "Burn", I haven't heard as thoroughly dynamic and satisfying a disc from top to bottom in a long while. At turns the journey is both dramatically engaging and disquietingly intimate without ever being too over-the-top or sentimental. In a sea of truly great new releases this year, it managed to rise to the top of my heap.

2. M. Ward - "Post-War"

M. Ward's fifth proper album is also his finest. Seems on this one his songcraft finally caught up with the sonic inventiveness he's displayed in previous releases. Vintage vocal processing and intentionally lo-fi-(ish) recording techniques finish second this time to the songs themselves which hook you from the beginning and don't let go. Standout tracks include "To Go Home" (which makes me so happy to be alive every time I hear it I end up pattycaking my hands on top of my thighs like a Down's kid) and the wonderfully warm and soulful title track, "Post-War".

3. The Black Angels - "Passover"

It's a rare achievement when a band comes along whose sound is both exciting and fresh and yet somehow familiar in the best possible way. On their debut full-length, The Black Angels manage that furious balance with aplomb. Fuzzy, psychedelic guitars and reverb-drenched vocals on top of an almost tribal rhythm section recall The Velvet Underground without ever resorting to full-on mimickry. It's an unexpected sound for six young folks from Austin, Texas but it exudes an urgency and exuberance that transcends any shadow Lou, Nico and crew might have potentially cast. And if they happen to come through your town, their live show is not to be missed.

4. Editors - "The Back Room"

Editors' comparisons to Interpol were as immediate and inevitable as Interpol's comparisons to Joy Division. And ultimately, if you dig long enough, a thing can probably be traced back to just about whatever you'd like to connect it to. Luckily, "The Back Room" manages to buck both labels and comparisons after just one listen. It was released in the UK in 2005 but not in the U.S. until this year, so therefore makes the list on a technicality. Doesn't matter. It's a true gem and makes rainy days well worth the wait.

5. Heartless Bastards - "All This Time"

"Heartless Who-the-Fuck?", you ask? It's an unfortunately silly name for a truly phenomenal band. On their sophomore effort, the Ohio trio finally find their stride and produce a soaring album of indie-blues-rock-soul that will have you singing along after the very first spin. Singer/guitarist Erika Wennerstrom's husky, mercurial voice belies her skinny white frame and lays bare every emotion as the songs unfold. Both The Missus and I just can't stop listening to this one. Front to back, "All This Time" is flawless. Actually, you should just go buy it right now.

No, really. Finish reading this post and then just go buy it. Seriously...

6. Sonic Youth - "Rather Ripped"

I know, I know. Sonic Youth put out another terrific record. Big fuckin' news, right? Well, whether it's news or not I definitely have to give props for consistency when it's due. There are only a handful of bands on planet Earth who've ever managed both the longevity and the reliability of Sonic Youth. "Rather Ripped" continues along the same slightly-more-song-oriented path that "Sonic Nurse" travelled without losing any of the delicious spontaneity and adventurousness of "Daydream Nation" or "Murray Street". They're simply a remarkable band and "Rather Ripped" is yet another jewel in their crown.

Now, I just want to clarify that there were MANY incredible albums released this year and narrowing down the field was an arduous task. As such, I feel like I have to mention some favorites that didn't make the list...

Honorable Mentions:

The Futureheads “News and Tributes”
The Long Winters “Putting the Days to Bed”
Midlake “The Trials of Van Occupanther”

Regina Spektor "Begin to Hope"
Jose Gonzalez “Veneer”

The Earaches "Time On Fire"

And in the "Gosh, I Dig This Band But Man Do I Wish They Had a Different Name" category...

I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness with their indie-goth release "Fear Is On Our Side".

Now, the primary fun of lists like these is the discussion that always ensues. So take a moment to weigh in in the comments section when you have a chance.

AND COMING THIS WEEK...

Be sure to check back in a day or two for IMBA's downloadable "Best of '06 Supermix"!

A Refresher on Perspective

Monday evening. The 23rd street platform of the N. Me, coming home from an industry holiday party, feeling stupid. One of those dumb, let's-get-a-bunch-of-actors,-agents-and-casting-directors-together-in-a-room-and-let-the-opportunities-floooow kind of contrived-ass shindigs. The exact kind of activity I tend to prefer even less than seeing how far up my forearm I can pull my hangnails. I actually get there and decide immediately that I can't deal. Too crowded, too many pretty folks, too much hoggida-hoggida about the business. Not even a coat check. The gal at the door knows my name for some reason and checks me off the list. Within 45 seconds, I fold completely. I turn right around and leave the joint in full social-anxiety meltdown mode. My mistake for going alone in the first place. Then feel obligated to go back in since I went all the way from work to Queens to walk the dog and back to the City just for this stupid thing. And I'm wearing a velvet blazer and my badass pointy black British mod shoes to boot. I go back in, buy a $7 Bass, carry it around for 20 minutes, bump into one person I know but who was headed to the other end of the party to meet some friends, wander around like an asshole some more, finish half my beer and leave.

So, now I'm standing on the platform - feeling lousy. Lousy that I wasted the evening, lousy that I couldn't at least try to hobknob a little and lousy that I was feeling desperate enough to try and go to this thing in the first fuckin' place. The usual friction between the artist and the guy trying to make a living from his art. You sort of have to play the game. Not in any particular way per se, but you have to at least play. And I feel like I can't bitch too heartily about not being where I want to be in my career if I'm not even willing to do the "Who Did Your Headshot?" dance from time to time. It's a pesky, narcissistic buzz that's humming around my head and as it's building to a crescendo, I see this little girl.

This impossibly cute little girl standing on the platform with her mother. Long sandy blonde hair, adorably beady little commas for eyes and when she talks, her S's whistle through the space where one of her bottom front teeth used to be. She's trying to open a package of Eclipse Lemon Ice gum - the kind that slides out of the cardboard sleeve and has the plastic front for you to punch the gum out through the foil-covered backing. Not too trying a deal for most kids, except this one's missing her right arm just below the elbow. And I'm standing there watching her try to do this.

She asks mom for ideas on how to get it open in a very matter of fact way, like it's a Rubik's or a Sudoku puzzle. Mom says she can't tell her how to do it because she doesn't know. She knows how she does it, but she's got both arms. The girl's got to figure out her own way. And she continues to try - no fuss - stoic and focused. Determined tongue poking out in an almost too on-the-nose impression of a Peanuts character. Prodding, fumbling, pressing it against her corduroy-panted leg, dropping it, trying to do it one-handed, trying to be as dextrous as she can with her chin, her nose, her left hand, her nub. This continues as the train comes and we all load on. Past 34th, 42nd, 59th. Finally at Queensborough Plaza, a sharp, half-stifled peel of laughter as she manages to smash the plastic against her half-arm and send a piece shooting into the crook of her bent knee. The gum at last. The Grail. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. And a lovely corner-smile of pleased self-satisfaction, also in a very Charles Schultzian manner. Mom puts her arm around her, gives her a casual and knowing squeeze. A corner-smile of her own. Partly because she's proud of her daughter for having the patience to figure it out and partly, it seems, because she's proud of herself for having the patience to let her daughter figure it out. And in the end, there's the bottom line. This girl now knows how to get that kind of gum out of that kind of packaging with half an arm. Something she didn't know at 23rd street, but now knows at Queensborough Plaza. Not just how, but that she can.

So, yeah. My bullshit anxieties about the state of my acting career based on one botched attempt at social networking were stuffed back in my face like Shaq blocking a jumper. Because I've never had to wonder how to open my gum.

This is a picture of her in action. Right before the moment of triumph.

Thanks, sister. Sometimes we need a little taste of perspective. And sometimes it tastes like Eclipse Lemon Ice gum.

Had Enough/Can't Get Enough #2

This week, I've absolutely Had Enough of...

• Anything involving this one


• Or these two


• More voting folderol in this goddamn state


• Hearing the phrases "in terms of" and "from a _____ perspective" at least once in every sentence spoken by any one of the 3,000 AmEx employees I work with on a daily basis


• Telling Gatsby to stop fucking with the Christmas tree


• The 5 pounds I've gained since Thanksgiving

But, I really Can't Get Enough of...

• The buzz about our next President of the United States of America


• 12 years of GOP rule ending with a pathetic whimper


• Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers "Caravan"


• My lovely, lovely wife

COMING THIS WEEK...

Keep an eye out for It Must Be Aaron's "Top Six Albums of 2006" as well as my downloadable "Best of '06 Supermix". Miss those and you'll feel like a total putz.

No, but seriously. You totally will....

A Very Laughy Baby

I know this one has been making the rounds, but if you haven't seen it, here you go. This kid is a total buddyhead and his laugh is infectious. Gather your co-workers 'round and let 'er rip...

O, Tannenbaum

On Saturday The Missus and I went to get our Christmas tree. In most American homes this time of year, that's a fairly standard and unremarkable activity in and of itself. For us however, it was rife with some fairly exciting firsts.

For starters, this will be our first Christmas together in the City. Every year previous, we've spent the holiday separate from each other and with our respective families in Omaha and Denver. This will be the first Christmas morning in our nine years together in which we wake up in the same bed. So, we're psyched about that.

As a result of being together in the same state this yuletide season, we decided it would not only be appropriate but, dare I say, enjoyable to go and pick out a Christmas tree together. To go purchase all the tree stuff and then go get the tree itself, which we imagined ourselves dragging When Harry Met Sally-style down the street in a charming shared gesture of New York Cristmastude. And apart from the fact that we were purchasing the tree in Queens and dragging it to our 1986 Volvo station wagon, that was basically the picture. But what makes all of this truly special beyond the obvious reasons is the fact that this tree - this lovely, skinny, 6 foot Frasier Fir - is my first ever REAL CHRISTMAS TREE.

You see, the tree I've spent my Christmases with since birth is an artificial tree. An artificial tree that is older than I am and has definitely not held up as well. If this tree were a woman, she'd be sitting at the end of a darkly lit bar, wearing a muumuu, smoking Benson & Hedges and offering sexual favors in return for a sandwich and a place to take a hot shower. You would think that at some point between 1970 and now, my mother would have considered replacing this tree with either a real tree or at least a newer, less beat-to-shit artificial tree. But when I really think about it, the truth is if she ever were to get rid of that tree, I'd be wrecked. It remains one of the few holiday constants that I can still rely on to sensorally bring me right back to the Christmases of my youth. (Right up there with the Charlie Brown and Rudolph animated specials on TV.) And I loved those Christmases.

That said, there was something inherently exciting about going to pick out my first ever actual, real deal, "looks-and-smells-like-a-tree-because-it-is-a-tree" tree. And it also felt good to be doing my part to help control the world's burgeoning fir population. We bought a few tasteful but nondescript ornaments from Target and then went to Michael's and picked up some blank wooden shapes that we could paint ourselves. We had Neil & Katie over, played my own hand-picked, 3-volume set of Christmas mixes and had a little ornament-painting party. We even MacGuyvered together our own monogrammed tree-topper with a couple wooden letters, some superglue, craft paint and floral wire. Despite some logistical difficulties and a couple brief appearances by my storied lack of patience, we had a great time.

Below are the results of our efforts. A tangible celebration of Christmas firsts. And a tip of the hat to traditions old and new...

Behold the "Christmas Monkey"